Thesis 1
In his article "Of Mice or Men", Arthur Allen acknowledges that animal testing may have yielded effective drugs but uses historical evidence and experts' studies to claim that animal testing does not have enough merit to continue.
Thesis 2
Although animal testing has yielded effective drugs, the article "Of Mice or Men" by Arthur Allen uses historical evidence and experts' studies to prove that testing does not produce enough relevant results to justify the life cost of lab animals.
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| Stricker, Rudolf "Lancia Thesis Kappa" 12/11/07 via Wikipedia. Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported |
There's a car actually called a Thesis. It looks like an Italian version of a Cadillac.
My first thesis was my "rough draft" thesis and it shows signs of that. It is structured just like a freshman level high school English textbook would have me write. It has it's advantages but it isn't my best work by a long shot.
I like my second thesis better. It was crafted based on the first as seen by some of the word choice but it comes off as a more aggressive thesis and presents my opinion better by discrediting the counterargument immediately. The first thesis is passive in that it puts the opinion on Allen and not me, nor does it state that the counterargument is wrong. My second thesis also seems easier to smoothly integrate into an introduction.
Reflection
I read the posts by Alyssa and Nick. They both wrote effective thesis statements that will make a great essay. Alyssa's theses were significantly longer than both Nick's and my own. She says in her post that that is because she is concerned about meeting the length requirement of this project and earlier in her post she also mentioned that she had a class specifically for writing rhetorical analyses. I'd like to think that I have experience with writing these, but my experience is nothing compared to that and I think I need to revisit my thesis once my whole draft is written. I think making a rock solid and specific thesis would come easier after the whole essay is written since the thesis is essentially the topic sentence of the whole essay.
I think you did a really great on writing your thesis statements. They are very similar to the way I wrote my statements because we used similar words in both statements, however changed them up to make one include more of the rhetoric arguments. I think your idea on writing a better thesis after the entire paper is written is smart because it essentially is sentences that summarize the entire paper, so it would make sense to write the paper first to know what exactly you are summarizing.
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